I’ve come up with a list of some of the most annoying things that people do on Facebook. Now, I know I’m no Facebook angel but I like to think I’m not thaaaat bad… Anyway, here’s my list.
The Definitive List of The Six Most Annoying/Baffling Things People Do On Facebook:
1. Taking Photos of Food
Yes, your dinner does look very nice. Wow, congratulations, you made another batch of cakes. Why do you think your Facebook friends want to see your food? Do you really think that uploading a photo of your lunch is interesting to anyone else? Why do people go on holiday, take a few photos of the scenery and then fill the rest of their photo album with pictures of the meals they ate every day? I see no reason why people feel the need to do this. The only excuse I’ll give you is if the carrot you’ve got looks particularly phallic or you found a newt in your salad. Otherwise, yes, it may have been the best paella you’ve ever tasted, or yes maybe the chef made it look pretty, but in twenty minutes you’ll have digested it and in a few hours it’ll have turned into shit. Just like the photo you took of it in the first place. Stop doing it.
2. Checking In to Your Own Home. Every Day.
In particular, checking in at “my bed” or “The Castle of Smith”. Seriously, you don’t live in a castle. I know, because you haven’t put any photos of your castle on Facebook. Why do people need to know that you’re at home? By checking in, you’re also letting everyone you know on Facebook find exactly where you live. I don’t think that’s particularly a good idea, especially if you’re friends with some random people. The only places I will permit checking in at isif you’re somewhere good or exciting. Not at home, not at your friends/boyfriend/girlfriends house. Also please do not check in at Tescos or Sainsburys. I do not give a crap that you’re shopping for ingredients for the food you’ll show me in an hour in your photos. And don’t check in at the gym every time you go!
3. Sharing Chain Photos and Statuses.
“Put the colour of your knickers on your status to raise awareness for breast cancer, but don’t tell the boys what your status means!” Sorry if I’ve ruined this for you. But firstly, how is writing “pink” on your status raising awareness of breast cancer? How is a status that doesn’t mention breast cancer anywhere, going to raise awareness? And if it somehow does, by not telling the boys, you’re cutting out a whole gender. Unless there’s an actual fact, that’s educating people about the specified subject, then don’t do it. Donate money to Cancer Research instead. Trust me, it’ll go a lot further than telling the world you’re wearing pink knickers.
No one forwards on chain emails anymore, so why should it be any different on Facebook?
4. Boring Statuses
I don’t care. I honestly don’t. I don’t think the rest of your friends do either. I just wonder, do people actually think people are interested in the minute boringness of their lives? They must, as I see it on Facebook all the time. I’m not even going to go into examples because it’s. Just. Too. Boring.
5. Over Sharing.
Point 5 must be split into several subsections, as below.
A. Too Much Love.
Public Displays of Affection (PDAs) are a no no. Cries of GET A ROOM echo if people kiss in public, yet it seems that on Facebook, it’s acceptable to declare your love for your beloved for all to see. It’s nice that you’re happy, that you’re besotted with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, but I just don’t understand why you’re moved to click on Facebook, type your status and send it to the masses rather than profess your love in a more personal way by actually speaking to the person in question? At least call them, at least text them, at the very least send a private message! If you’re doing it to make people jealous, grow up, you’re not fourteen anymore. If you really think it’s a romantic way to profess your love then seriously, get off your computer, read some Shakespeare, some Jane Austin, watch a few cheesy rom coms and get back to me. And if you get back to me saying that it’s still a romantic way to declare your love then perhaps I could write a film about it and ask Jennifer Aniston to be the lead?
B. Too Much Hate.
While on the subject of publically declaring your feelings over Facebook, I must say that I do enjoy watching a nice fight going on on someone’s status/wall. The juicer the fight, the better. It’s like Jeremy Kyle, but I actually know the people, However, you’re really embarrassing yourself. It’s a classless way to go about things and I really do believe if you’re having trouble with your boyfriend or a friend you should resolve it in private!
C. Too Much Information.
The photos I’ve chosen (from Lamebook) for the purposes of illustration, are, in fairness, worse than any I’ve seen myself on Facebook. But, people really do give too much information about their lives on Facebook. I really don’t think that Social Networking is the place to discuss your medical, financial or work-based issues as you can see in these pictures.
D. Withholding Information.
So D doesn’t really fit into part 5, but it can go here anyway. Ok, I’m only still friends with you because as much as I hate your statuses, I do find them enjoyable and entertaining to read at times. So please, don’t put a status up about how much you hate something, or about some awful thing that’s just happened, and NOT GIVE THE DETAILS! Even old Jeremy Kyle only leaves cliff-hangers for the 4 minute ad breaks! If you don’t want people to know about it, don’t put it up. Don’t tease us.
6. Awful Spelling.
This photo is particularly good because another thing I really hate is racism. How can you possibly complain about people not being able to speak English when you can’t speak it yourself? These days, it actually must be harder to spell things incorrectly (lyk instead of like, wen instead of when, etc etc etc) than properly due to auto-correct! I know I’m a spelling and grammar freak, but it’s really not hard to use correct English. Please, please try.